Pit Sweat

Can I just say that selling your "work" is REALLY nerve-racking! This past Friday, I decided to throw nerves to the wind, and try to sell some photographs I'd taken, to some of the stores downtown. This was a great idea until we started driving towards downtown. I became a true nervous wreck. I experienced physical and mental things that I was not expecting at all. As the title suggests, I began sweating like crazy! My heart started racing. I got all tongue-tied and my knees were wobbly. I was shaking like crazy. Mentally, I was not prepared for how I would feel either. As I got closer to downtown, I started really having some major self-doubt. I don't know if every "artist" feels like this, but I have never felt so put on display in all my life. Imagine standing naked at the entrance to Six Flags as it opens for Spring Break. I felt like I was baring an unseen, unknown side of me and asking perfect strangers to decide whether I was good enough or not. It is the worst feeling in the world. No matter how self confident you are, and I think I'm pretty confident, when someone other than a family member is about to see what you think is good, it's scary! What if they think it's horrible? What if they look at me like I'm crazy? What if they laugh at the price? What if they think I'm too "amateur"? I'll tell you just what I worried about....you know those people on American Idol who sing horribly and the judges say "Do you REALLY think that sounded good?", and in all honesty the person says with a solemn look on their face "Yes! And my family backs me up!"....that's what I worried about. I think my work is good, but am I totally unable to see the true ability?

Okay well, that was all the stuff going through my head. So, I boldly marched right into that first place. I stuck out my head and gave a firm handshake while stating who I was in as bold a voice as I could muster. I then, with feigned confidence, told the owner that they need my notecards to sell and that they were pictures anyone would love to buy. Then I waited for judgement day........and he looked at them and then up at me......and then said...."These are really great!" Fireworks went off inside of me and the chorus to Hallelujah played loudly inside my head!!!!! He said he was very interested, but his wife was the purchaser so I needed to come back in an hour when she returned. Long story short, they bought 6 packages. I also sold to four other stores. I only had a few stores turn me away without an explanation. The others either "didn't sell new things" or "the owner isn't here, but leave your name and if she's interested, she'll call you." This was just as well, because I was pretty much in over my head already. I had 20 sets of notecards to compile by today! Anyway, I just wanted to share how that was. I have decided that I need a salesperson to go in for me and pitch what I'm doing. I can't handle this going before the jury myself and waiting to see if I'm liked....I think that experience took a few years off my life....but it was worth it. Let's hope I sell well this coming weekend. Last year, the Red Poppy Festival saw around 30,000 people, so I know I'm going to get some good exposure. :)

Here's a picture of my business card, of course with the last name and phone # smudged out. I took this picture of myself in the mirror up in my bathroom with a white sheet over the window behind me....it was just what I was hoping it would be...that doesn't happen very often!

A few of the businesses wanted me to write up an artist bio to put next to the notecards. They said it made the notecards more "authentic"...whatever. I have to admit it is painfully hard when you have to write things about yourself. Hope you can read it. I thought it came out good. This is another picture I took of myself in the mirror, same as above. And mom, "obsessed with family photography" was meant in a good way....I am SO thankful that you loved taking our picture!